Those seven words meant more to me than hearing that I am beautiful or I love you. Those seven words weren’t actually spoken to me, but spoken about us.
Something happened this week that was frustrating to me. My husband and I were invited to go on a backpacking trip with a few of his friends. It was a casual invite that had no planning yet, but I was excited about the possibility. Overnight, it had turned into a “guys only” trip. My husband was informed about the new situation and was encouraged by his friends to go without me. That’s when it happened, he said the seven words. “We are a team….we hike together”.
Ladies…..you know why that trip became a “guys only” trip? Because most wives will not do that sort of thing. They have no desire to do activities that involve becoming smelly, dirty, peeing and pooping in the wilderness, being fearful, having greasy hair, no makeup or sleeping on the ground. But what they don’t realize is how much they are missing out on doing something amazing with their husband. Most things that guys like to do involve one or more of the above to occur. Guys like doing things alongside others to build relationships. Not having a latte at the coffee shop, sitting face to face, sharing their feelings, hopes and dreams.
You want to make your marriage better? Get involved in something your husband likes to do. Not everything they do, but find one thing that you can do together. There is a Christian speaker/author that said she hikes into places and fly fishes with her husband. She stands in lakes and rivers for hours with waders on up to her chest. It is not her first choice of activities to do, but she has found a love for it, because of his love of it. If you have something you both enjoy doing already (besides in the bedroom), then maybe try to take it to another level. Not all guy’s favorite activities involve dirt and peeing in the woods. For example: If yours is into Golf, then this might be an easier activity to get involved in. It’s also fashionable and good exercise! Disclaimer: if you have babies and/or little children at home, I understand you are barely surviving on a day to day basis. Just going to Chipotle alone with your husband is a huge accomplishment. Take this information and bank it for later.
In my situation, my husband likes to do two things….mountain biking and hiking. I gave the mountain biking a fair shot, but I had a really hard time with it. I could not get past the falling all the time & going fast and crazy down trails. Next on the list was hiking. I have always liked day hiking, so why not take it to the next level? Backpacking! We have found something that we both can do together. We train. We plan. We buy gear. We are a team…we hike together!
I challenge those of you who have not taken that step of entering your husband’s world yet. When you are doing something that will make you smelly, dirty and could be mistaken for a homeless person, your husband will see something completely different. You will never be more beautiful to him. You are doing something he loves to do with the person that he loves the most! Sure, there is always a time and place for “guy only and girl only” trips. But when you take a chance on doing something that is not really about you, it will end up becoming about us. It will carry over into your daily lives. Your marriage will be much better for it. Your children will be much better for it.
You will become a team…..and you will hike together!