I hope that I am not alone in admitting that sometimes I let myself get into a bad mental place. Sometimes that bad place actually feels kinda good. It is secluded, dim, and even a bit cozy. I feel safe and protected in there. Safe from all of the shame and humiliation that I love to dump onto myself. Safe from the disappointment of unachieved goals. As most of you know, our trip was cut short this summer due to Gannon’s back injury. I love to set up camp here and that is exactly what I did for the last couple of weeks.
I am emerging from that safe cocoon and feeling better about the goals I did achieve as each day goes by. It is no small accomplishment to hike from Mammoth to Yosemite. We hiked 34 miles and over 2 mountain passes! But what really matters most are the memories that were made. Having our 20 yr old son with us to experience this for the first time is priceless. There was much more laughter than frustration and I will always cherish this trip more for the experiences we had together than for the amazing landscape in which we were in.
God created us to be in relationship with others. And when we do that, we can experience what He truly wants for us. I could never imagine hiking to these places alone. I am an introvert and do love to go for long periods of time wrapped up in my own thoughts, but I will always want to experience what God has created for us with others. There is nothing like stopping in your tracks to see a deer standing on the trail in front of you and having everyone else behind you stop and feel that same sense of awe you are feeling.
My son will eventually go off and have many adventures of his own. But I know that he will never forget this trip or the experiences he had with us. We pray that he will grace us on more trips to come, but if not, we will all treasure the memories we had from this one.
Work is helping me to emerge from my self-imposed safe place and walk into a new safe place. One that is much healthier for me. One filled with friends, family, love, and joy. I think that God allows me to go to that dim safe place (for a short period of time) to work on things within me. Because I am broken, He is given free rein to come in and build me back up again.
Being the goal driven, achieving person that I am, God is showing me that even in failure, there is still victory. There are always more mountains to climb and adventures to have. I will continue to do them for as long as God gives me the strength and perseverance to do so.
So…next up will be Day 1 of our Mammoth to Yosemite hike!